Who will you remember?
A friend of mine mentioned weeks back that she’s amazed at my ability to recall and use people’s names when I give a speech. She asked if I could help her by sharing some of my tips. We discussed her observations of people’s reactions. I admit, I never really thought much about the process, it was just something I did as part of my speech preparation. At my most recent speech, I paid particular attention to how I worked at remembering people’s names. Let me describe how it all played out:
The Project Management Institute TM Open House started at 7:00. I got there at 6:35 and there were already three people there. They look up and guess correctly that I am Victor, one of their guest speakers. I introduce myself to the women sitting at the long table. “Hi, Victor, I’m Laurie. Welcome to our meeting and thanks for speaking tonight. This is Linda, she’s our club ________ .”
Dave, my contact, introduces himself. I realize that I’ve already forgotten the first lady’s name. Darn. I have to do better – I’m speaking in a bit and will use names during my talk.
I sit down and Gary introduces himself: he’s my other email contact. I’ll remember him. The guy to his right says, “Hi. I’m Van.” I can remember Van. It’s a V name like mine (memory tip).
Luckily, Linda says, “Laurie,…” and I’m back in the game – the game of remembering names. I have to work at remembering names; I don’t have that gift. But throughout this exercise, I am becoming aware of the physical things I do to make sure a name sticks with me.
Here’s what I always do:
- hear the name,
- see the name,
- say the name,
- – repeat.
- I’ll even jot down the names, perhaps matching the layout of the room. In this particular instance, I created a seating chart, and added the names of people I met.
I used several names throughout my talk as needed. Some names came easily, some popped in when needed. Overall, I was pleased but thought I could have used more.
My friend, who came along to film my speech, is also part of PMI and a PMP, Project Management Professional. Here’s what she said in an email after the event.
“Sorry, I wasn’t listening too well to your speech, but that’s because I was too busy watching the people when you would look directly at them and use their name, and – OMG (Oh My God). Basic human behavior is funny. We really do like the sound of our own name. But more than that, you looked directly at them, and made them feel as if you were speaking just to them. Personally, I was never really that way because most people couldn’t get my name or remember me, but watching those people’s face change and become 100% engaged with you – AH-MAZING. You need to teach people the power of your remembering names like that – to help them be more successful at networking or speaking!
Do you want to be a star at your next networking event? Want to be that star speaker that gets invited back, or gets more calls to speak?
Then call out a few names; use names as part of conversation moments in your speech; or when you make the loop at a networking event or when you’re leaving, you can say “Bye Jeanne – it was so nice to meet you! Good luck with Project X!” People will think you’re smart (not bad for a speaker!). The more names, the smarter and more charismatic you are perceived. Careful, if you remember all of them, you may be perceived as a brainiac, or that it’s simply a gift you have and nothing special. Or, maybe you’re an Insider and THE person to know. Wouldn’t you like to find out?
Here are the top 5 tips for remembering people’s names!
Try several to find the ones which work best for you. If you come up with one that really works, and it’s not listed here, please add a comment and let me know – I’ll keep building the list!
#1. Connect someone’s name to a previous action or interaction. (as Gary, my email contact; or Dave, my initial contact. The act of putting a name to a person you’ve interacted with creates a neural connection)
#2. Use a technique to tie someone’s name to something about you. (as in Van, his name started with a V, like my name. Or another person I met who plays volleyball; finding something in common also forms a connection)
#3. Use an alliteration: Patrick is a PMP. Using the same letter in the sentence gives you clues in case you don’t remember the name.
#4. Pay attention, stay alert. When you are on heightened awareness to remember, and you hear a name, you will perk up and look. The physical act of looking will tie a name to face. Connection!
#5. When you meet someone, say their name, then do something that associates with your learning style (Audio, Visual, Kinesthetic (doing or feeling)). I am visual, so I say their name, ‘see’ it in my mind or glance at the name tag. If you are an Audio learner, look at their name tag, listen to the person say their name, then say it back in your mind or out loud. I find out loud works better. If you are Kinesthetic, say their name and shake their hand, or write it, or say their name while mentioning something about their outfit, or commenting about a feeling (‘it sure is warm in here’, or ‘boy, this is crowded’).
Bonus Tip: Take a moment and write down all the names in a seating chart format, or on a list in the order that you met someone. The physical act of giving your brain a moment to recall, and write, makes the memory connection that much longer. If you are keeping a mental list, make sure to take a break after 6-7 names to write them down. We have a tendency to remember in smaller chunks, and our short term memory will start dropping information as the short term becomes bombarded. You must physically do something to move a name out of short term and into longer term. Try it – this works!
Keep in touch and let me know your successes with this!! I never really noticed the impact of using someone’s name, it was just something I always did and worked at it. When I was made aware of the real impact of my ‘casual, automatic’ behavior, I had to make sure I passed the lessons onto so you can be a star too! (clasp palms here for the ‘I’m a champion’ maneuver!)
(Photo courtesy of: Flickr, Alan O’Rourke)